Fans of the original – prepare to be majorly disappointed. This brainless flick does no justice to the original, is devoid of personality and depth and frankly, couldn’t scare an 8 year old.

The Plot

A re-imagining of the horror icon Freddy Krueger, a serial-killer who wields a glove with four blades embedded in the fingers and kills people in their dreams, resulting in their real death in reality

Nancy, Kris, Quentin, Jesse and Dean are all having the same dream – of the same man – Freddy and one by one, he terrorizes them within the curved walls of their dreams, where the rules are his, and the only way out is to wake up. Functioning on little to no sleep, they struggle to understand why them, why now, and what their parents aren’t telling them.

Buried in their past is a debt that has just come due, and to save themselves, they will have to plunge themselves into the mind of the most twisted nightmare of all… Freddy Krueger.

Starring Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Kruger and Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara, Katie Cassidy Thomas Dekker and Kellan Lutz as the young ‘uns and directed by Samuel Bayer – so you can put the blame on him.

The Thoughts

The first minute til the very end, the film was packed full of atrocious cheap scares that are equivalent to shouting “boo!” in your face. You almost feel like the director is having a laugh, mocking your IQ if you will. With absolutely nothing inventive about it, the film sets about delivering the worst dialogue, pretty bad acting and rubbish horror gimmicks that don’t even make you flinch.

Whilst the only thing to commend is Katie Cassidy’s first star role – since Melrose Place (her biggest TV role to date) saw her fashionista bombshell character, flaunting the most fabulous dresses known to mankind, I’ve always loved her for her smooth style, shimmying sexy body and a mouth that will sweet talk you into doing anything she pleases. It is such a refreshment seeing her in this role that is completely different and she handles it very well. The biggest shame is that she is the first person is get killed off – making the film void of anything entertaining at all. Rooney Mara who survives til the end is one of the worst actresses I’ve seen on screen this year.

Completely lacking in imagination, Freddy Kruger deserves better than this. The true nightmare is having to sit through a showing of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

The Film Buzz Rating: ***~~~~~~~ (3/10)

UK Release Date: 7th May 2010

Director: Samuel Bayer

Writer’s: Wesley Strick(screenplay), Eric Heisserer(screenplay)

Links: IMDB, Official Site

Never Sleep Again.

A re-imagining of the horror icon Freddy Krueger, a serial-killer who wields a glove with four blades embedded in the fingers and kills people in their dreams, resulting in their real death in reality.

Directed by Samuel Bayer, with Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger and also starring Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara and Katie Cassidy (Melrose Place).

Can I just say: This looks like a lame one that won’t even scare a 12 year old.

See it if you liked: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (2006), The Last House On The Left (2009)

Certificate: 18

Genre: Horror

Release Date: 7 May 2010

The Back-Up Plan

Fall in love. *Get married. Have a baby. *Not necessarily in that order.

A comedy that explores dating, love, marriage and family “in reverse.” After years of dating, Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) has decided waiting for the right one is taking too long. Determined to become a mother, she commits to a plan, makes an appointment and decides to go it alone. That same day, Zoe meets Stan (Alex O’Loughlin) – a man with real possibilities. Trying to nurture a budding relationship and hide the early signs of pregnancy becomes a comedy of errors for Zoe and creates confusing signals for Stan. Anyone can fall in love, get married and have a baby but doing it backwards in hyper-drive is the real pregnancy test.

Stars Michaela Watkins, Eric Christian Olsen and Anthony Anderson, directed by Alan Poul.

Can I just say: Can anyone say flop? Jennifer Lopez + rom com = flop by basic mathematical laws

See it if you liked: Monster-In-Law (2005), Knocked-Up (2007), Baby Mama (2005)

Certificate: 12A

Genre: Romantic/Comedy

Release Date: 7 May 2010

Furry Vengeance

He came. He saw. They conquered.

Furry Vengeance is a live action family comedy in which an ambitious young real estate developer, Dan Sanders, faces off with a band of angry animals when his new housing subdivision pushes too far into a pristine part of the wilderness. Led by an incredibly clever raccoon, the animals stymie the development and teach our hero about the environmental consequences of man’s encroachment on nature.

Can I just say: This film is wrong on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. How did any producer in their right mind actually agree to put money towards this film? He/she has to have been drunk/on drugs/both and deserves to be hanged. Scoring a stinking  2.1 on IMDb, you’ll find more joy watching puddles dry.

See it if you liked: Over The Hedge (2006), Open Season (2006), Evan Almighty (2007)

Certificate: PG

Genre: Comedy/Family

Release Date: 7 May 2010